stay classy

phils-new-toaster:

scifi1694:

thegoddamazon:

laughingfish:

inflateablefilth:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

BEST PUNS EVER.

HE’S BREAD, JIM.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO TUMBLR IS KILLING ME TODAY

JESUS CRUST


Why aren’t I this cool? Goddamn it Phil!

phils-new-toaster:

scifi1694:

thegoddamazon:

laughingfish:

inflateablefilth:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

BEST PUNS EVER.

HE’S BREAD, JIM.

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO TUMBLR IS KILLING ME TODAY

JESUS CRUST

Why aren’t I this cool? Goddamn it Phil!

(Source: secretsbest)